Anyone can suffer from the occasional crisis of confidence or can feel stuck; paralysed by choice or their own thoughts. That includes coaches. That includes me. So what do we coaches do when we experience these sorts of dilemmas? Do we coach ourselves in a sort of “doctor heal thyself” kind of a way? No! We see a coach. Sure, I have some powerful questions up my sleeve so I could ask them of myself. I’m reflective and self-aware and pretty good at getting to the nub of a problem. I can see issues from different perspectives. But here’s the thing. I can’t see me from a wholly different perspective. I can’t help but view my situation through the mists of my life experience, my beliefs. So I am unlikely to get all the answers and some fresh ideas by talking to myself. I need the objective feedback that only someone seeing me as I present myself and my challenges to them in that moment can give me.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are” (Anais Nin)
I was in this situation yesterday when I met with a Performance Coach. I was looking forward to seeing if he could help me clarify my thinking on my current “existential crisis”. I have a crisis pretty much weekly and usually I work them out by myself but this one had me stumped. My dilemma, which I suspect is common amongst solo entrepreneurs and/or coaches, was; “to niche or not to niche? How I can best serve others as a coach and reconcile what current business thinking tells me do with who I am and how I like to work?” My coach said little but asked a few pointed, deep questions about me, who I was, and how I work. He gave me wonderful feedback on how he saw me and my place in the coaching world. This one conversation has helped me move forwards. The feedback gave me a new perspective so I could see myself through fresh eyes with new empowering words to describe myself. The questions revealed the need to get to the heart of my identity and beliefs so my coaching could have a more powerful sense of purpose and align to who I am. I now feel more confident about my business AND in myself whilst recognising that I still have work to do.
“The one thing people are never good at is seeing themselves as others see them. A coach really, really helps”. Eric Schmidt (former CEO Google)
So why am I telling you this? I wanted to remind you that we all benefit from fresh ideas and feedback. Unsticking yourself isn’t easy on your own. Coaches don’t have all the answers, even for themselves, but what they do have in abundance is great questions and insights which they will share with sensitivity and objectivity. The coaching conversation helps you move on.
Find out how I can help you generate fresh ideas through great questions and a different perspective. Book a clarity call. Call 07990 514537 or email me: Shirley@thechangeagent.me